Good Advice from My Hubby

I was a little depressed last night over the way things are going, or not going in regards to my writing. Enough so that my Hubby could see that something was wrong. This is not to say that he’s blind to my moods, just that I’m really good at hiding my emotional states. Or I have it worked out before he gets back from work in the evenings.

This week, my writer friend who is a mother, wife, and writer herself and who I usually share my frustrations with has been busy with family things and the holiday, so I didn’t have her around for the pick me up I usually get from her. Also depression hit on a weekend with little going on, so it’s hard to hide it.

He wanted to know what was wrong and I told him I’d join him on the porch in a minute and we’d talk where the distraction that is my darling kids wouldn’t bother us. A little background on my hubby, he isn’t a writer, or a reader of books for that matter, he’s “too busy for that stuff”. The last book he read was one that I read to him about prostitution in the Old West while on vacation about 6 years ago. I think it was called Soiled Doves. Great book with lots of interesting stories. I enjoyed reading it.

Anyhoo, he doesn’t understand my obsession with reading, books, writing, or putting up with other people’s crap, when writing books is a hobby for me. So I tried to explain to him that I wanted to make my writing more than a hobby, about the stresses of marketing my books, and the constant uphill battle I seem to be fighting with various aspects of business.

His answer to the problem was so simple. Don’t. Don’t stress over it. Don’t worry about making money. Don’t ruin the fun of writing with all the hardships. “Do what you can do.”

I would accuse him of taking my favorite line from Ghost Whisperer, Jim tells Melinda to “do what you can do.” I found it so romantic and wished that my hubby would come up with such smart things to say. However, I can’t accuse him of watching Ghost Whisperer because he’s never seen it, it’s not his type of show.

I love my hubby. I love his occasional insightfulness. For a guy whose not into books and doesn’t get it, he’s very supportive of my writing. He’s also right.

I need to do what I can do, and let the rest sort itself out.

8 thoughts on “Good Advice from My Hubby

  1. Which is the same as ‘going with the flow’ Steph! Yes its hard to do, but once you are everything will work out just fine … you see! Not to put my Spiritual ‘hat’ on but its the same as trusting in God, which in turn is really just trusting in yourself. By acknowledging what resonates as the truth / right course of action, every aspect of your life will fall into place.
    I know 100% as i have been there. Wishing you all the very best, now such a burden, like a sack of doubt / confusion / illusion has been lifted. Be true / be YOU! God bless all. D

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    • It is hard to do. It means changing a habit I’ve started and making a new one. I already feel better about the whole thing after that talk with my hubby and a few well wishes from friends. 😀

      I’m also set in my decision of what I need to focus on. I’ve looked back over my goals for the past years and I’m going back to the one’s I made in 2010 when I published my first book with an update of where I want to go now. My plan is to happy with my writing business and work toward my goals and not the goals I’ve made because I’m suppose to want that goal.

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      • Yeah, thats so true… and aahh. Opening your heart is always the best route to take,
        Failing to plan is not planning to fail, Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that, i am sure you’ll be guided to fulfil and make those dreams come true. Quite often, any such timescales are taken out of hands. Being human, we all think we’re in control all the time, when in life, we are often given what we need and not always what we think that we ‘want’. I keep telling my wife this ha ha!
        Keep true to yourself and your ‘legacy’ of who, what and why you are will take care of itself Steph.
        All the best for now, peace.

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  2. It gets hard sometimes, especially if you’re ‘hanging out’ with fellow authors to say to yourself (and them) that the main thing you want is not riches and fame but to be happy (those would be great, too, but you know what I mean). so many drive everyone around them to be “sale counters” – “How many sales did YOU make today?” “How much money did YOU make today?” “I sold so many hundreds of books.” “Yay, I just got review number 732 on my fantastic book” “Oh, if you;re not paying for promotions then you don;t really care about your writing” on and on and on. It’s easy to get sucked into that penny counting/sale counting mentality where one is never good enough…

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    • So true. It’s hard when they’re boasting about their sales as a mark of success and you’re looking at your paltry numbers in shame as they don’t move anywhere or they bounce around the chart like a ping pong ball.

      There is so much advice of what author’s should be doing and not enough of it is practical for authors.

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  3. Bummer. 😦 After coming back from the conference, I got sick with the stomach bug (so did the kids) and I was unable to get on the computer to do anything. Last weekend it was painting the house we’re selling. This week I’m in Minnesota trying to get all of the things the movers lugged up here put away so I don’t have to do this on December 22 when we officially move here. I will be back in Nebraska late Sunday night so hopefully I’ll be on AIM on Monday. This weekend we’re out of the house because the guy we hired will be putting in new flooring. Our paint and old carpet was turning people off from buying the place so we have a ton of touch-ups to do. It’s a huge pain. But I can honestly say I haven’t had the ability to stress out about writing once during this whole time. LOL

    Your husband has great advice. Why stress over things you can’t control? That’s advice I needed to hear.

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    • Fun for you. I always hated redoing the interiors of homes when I worked for a construction company. So much work and so little time. I hope everything works out for you and no worries, I got over it. Stressing out over uncontrollable circumstances doesn’t help, but sometimes it’s best so we can make the changes that are needed. 😀

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