The mythical idea of a love that transcendence all loves is a dream. I’m not saying that you don’t love the one you are with. We all hope the one we fall in love with will love us back. We all pray for the perfect person to complete us. We might even chase after love like children chase after the elusive end of the rainbow, never to catch it.
Because sometimes you are chasing an ideal dream of what love is.
Life isn’t a fairy tale, though sometimes we might wish it were. I started reading romance novels when I was 12 or 14, I’m not really sure which. I just remember that I ran out of reading material and my mom had a stack of her books by the bed. So a snatched one and read it in an afternoon. I was hooked.
My favorite romances weren’t the ones that had the damsel in distress waiting for prince charming or the mysterious man arriving to complete the broken half of their souls, though those could be entertaining too. I’ve never been one of those girls who sat in their rooms, imagining I was the princess in the tower waiting for my prince to save me or make me whole. I don’t subscribe to Plato’s belief that humans were sliced in half ,and that the two halves spend their lives looking for the other.
I don’t think anyone needs another to make them whole. I don’t think people have to chase mythical ideals of love. I think they need to understand:
- Love starts with you. If you can’t love and accept yourself, you won’t believe other people are capable of it. There will always be that thought in the back of your head, “They can’t love me. What is there to love?”
- Love isn’t always simple. Or is it? I think love is black and white. People are all the shades of gray. People have issues and they are shaped by their lives. People are the ones that have to work through their past.
- Love is unconditional. Love is essential to life. It doesn’t need promises, terms, or conditions. People might give it limitations. But think of children. Innocence and unencumbered by life, they love everyone.
I don’t believe in chasing love. I don’t believe in mythical love. But I do believe in love.
There can be that one person that makes everything okay. Who lifts you up when your sad. Who loves and accepts all the odds bits about you. Who will always have your back, who will let you first rescue yourself, but always be there to help.
What is love to you?