Interview with Thanatos

Stephannie: Although long overdue—

Thanatos: You never asked.

Stephannie: *glares at Thanatos who is sitting way too calmly in his chair* I thought an Interview with a character from My Lord Hades was long overdue and since Thanatos has agreed—

Thanatos: You only asked me because everyone else is having loads of sex–

Stephannie: I don’t even want to know how you know that.

Thanatos: Yes you do. And thank you.

Stephannie: Thanks for what?

Thanatos: *leers suggestively and waggles his eyebrows* For the complementary thoughts, my dear.

Stephannie: *laughs* Hades is right, you’re incorrigible and distracting. Can we get back to the Interview? *Thanatos opens his mouth to say something* In My Lord Hades you’re working for Rhea–

Thanatos: I don’t work for Rhea. Actually I don’t work for anyone. I’m a free agent. *grins and lounges in his chair*

Stephannie: Then why are you doing Rhea’s bidding?

Thanatos: She’s forbidden to directly intervene in the lives of the Olympians because she’s a Titan. Some stupid rule Zeus enacted after he became King. Since I’m not a Titan or an Olympian, she asked me to do her a favor and since that favor furthered my own plans, I had no problem doing it for her. Besides, it allowed me to get Hades and Persephone together.

Stephannie: So you wanted them to get together?

Thanatos: Of course! Hades is a great boy and Persephone’s been pining for him almost as long as she’s been Queen of the Underworld. She’s happy with him and that’s all that counts.

Stephannie: Man! Why couldn’t you have been my dad?

Thanatos: *grins* Because I didn’t have great sex with your mom.

Stephannie: Eww…Mind bleach. I so didn’t need that thought rattling around my demented mind. One last question. Are you in love with Penelope?

Thanatos: Sadly, the fair lady has made it plain that there will be nothing between us. She is deeply in love with another and plans to marry him as soon as Hades and Persephone emerge from there rooms long enough for the lucky swine to do so. I’m utterly happy for them.

Stephannie: Then why do you chase her so? If you don’t plan on courting her that is?

Thanatos: That’s three questions. And the answer is, I have another love. *Stephannie opens her mouth to ask another question* No, it’s not Demeter. That love boat sailed long ago and my broken heart has healed from the pain. Demeter is happy with Isn…Iso…Imo…whatever his name is.

Stephannie: So who is the lucky woman? *Thanatos smiles and shakes his head* Oh come on! Please tell me. *he shakes head* I promise not to tell.

Thanatos: Don’t believe that for a moment. You’re like an open book that can speak. *Stephannie sticks out her tongue* That’s all for this week. Please join us next week when our beloved author will interview Hades—

Stephannie: Really?!

Thanatos: *shrugs* Maybe. If he’s done, having sloppy, wet, nasty sex.

Stephannie: Eehh! Mind bleach. Mind bleach.

Thanatos: *shaking head as he walks away* How the hell do you write sex scenes in your book?

Stephannie: Easy. *sends Thanatos a ton of mental pictures*

Thanatos: Oh, that is so wrong. *laughs and shakes his head* So very wrong. How can you appear so happy with such a morbid mind? Why aren’t you writing horror? Or Crime novels?

Stephannie: *trying to remain serious though a smile is curling her lips* Wasn’t any good at it? My main genre is speculative fiction, romance and erotica are just subgenres, not the main focus.

Thanatos: Explains so much.

Stephannie: Dweeb.

Thanatos: Dork.

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