Should I Give Up on ‘the Dream’?

Do you every have those days that you want to give in and crawl under the sheets and hide from the world? Do you every have those days when you want to give up your dreams and do something else? Do you ever have those days when you wonder if what you are writing is really worth it? Some days, like today, I wake up, start my day by getting dressed, turning on my computer, checking my emails while I edit my current WIP, and wonder if it’s really worth it. Should I keep up the article writing on publishing and writing? Should I write another blog post that almost no one will read? Should I even try to social networking?

This last one’s hard for me because I’m a social leper, by this I mean that I’m a creative introvert with a severe case of shyness. I choose a select group of people who I find interesting to befriend and have troubles working outside that group. I also have what I call the Awkward Writer disease, which is actually part of being an introverted person, because as much as I love words and can articulate what I want to say in writing, I can’t seem to articulate very well in a conversation. I either say little, or I spew out information until the other person runs from the room (and no I’m not exaggerating).  And when I comment on other people’s blogs, I either have foot in mouth disease or I over share information and people aren’t sure what I’m talking about. It’s not as if my sentences don’t make sense or I’m off topic, I’m just not good at the whole commenting thing. Then there are the places that I do comment on and the attack me for promoting my book, even if I don’t mention the damn thing!

Then there is the writing. In my bio I mentioned that for a two-year span I had requirements placed upon me that precluded me from writing. It was pure hell and I’ll never do it again. But there are those moments that I wonder if I’m wasting my time and everyone elses time by writing books?

Today is a day I want to give up.  I keep asking myself: Am I really getting anything out of this? Is anyone else?

Hopeful tomorrow I’ll get back that Irish-German fighting spirit that I inherited from my great-grandparents. Because I really don’t want to give up on my dreams. I want to see them succeed. Even if it takes me longer.

10 thoughts on “Should I Give Up on ‘the Dream’?

    • Thank you. Writing is just about hardest job I’ve ever done, a dream that I’ve had for a long time, but sometimes the opposition wears on me.

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  1. I don’t know the answer to this because I struggle with it a lot myself. Anyone who thinks we’re writing and putting our necks on the line for the heck of it are missing the heart and soul that goes into a book. In what other avenue would people expect to be treated like crap because they shared their work with the world? I seriously consider giving up every couple of months, and for me, this lasts a good month to two months of maybe I should take everything down and shut off the Internet consideration.

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    • We talked about some of this yesterday. Don’t give up, Ruth, you at least have fans outside your family and friends. And we all love your work.

      That said, I’m starting to think this a normal malay of writing. The rollercoaster ride we’re all on. 🙂

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  2. By the looks of your bio, I doubt you’d ever be able to give up. This is in your DNA.
    And by definition a writer’s got to be introverted. It’s a solitary form of expression. I don’t think I’ll ever totally shake off my own awkwardness, but I’ll keep on writing and commenting.
    I’ve read your comments before and they were fine. Just keep doing them. You’ll feel better about it the more you do.

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    • Thank you for the advice and the comment. I will keep commenting and writing. I had to give it a day of consideration and speak with another writer friend before I felt better. I came to the conclusion that I’ll always be the way I am and nothing can really change that.

      I think as introverts in an extroverted world, the awkward feeling is more pronounced to us but not always to the rest of the world. We see it because we feel the awkwardness. I’ve noticed that in a group of other introverts I do well. In a group of extroverts I do better if I sit and listen. Extroverts rarely notice I’m not talking as long as I make the proper motions and sound.

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  3. I clicked over here from your comment on another blog today – I already had your blog in my reader, but I haven’t gotten around to cleaning that out lately. 😉 I like the new design, by the way. Easier to read than the dark backgrounds.

    I’ve read your excerpt for My Lord Hades…your writing seems to be solid, and I look forward to reading it. I’m not sure what led to your self-doubt, but I’m glad it seems you’re getting over it with the help of friends, because you obviously have much to offer the romance community. Hang in there, ignore the critics and just keep writing.

    As for social networking – it gets easier, even for an introvert, but you do have to work at it. For me, it’s far easier to be outgoing online…because whenever it gets to be too much, I can just disconnect and re-group. Part of the reason I love the internet. 🙂

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    • Jamie, thank you. I prefer the the lighter background too. The dark background wasn’t suppose to be so dark, but it didn’t work quite the way I wanted it too. I’m glad to my aunt for providing the picture at the top. The sunset from outside her house in Hawaii is perfect.

      I’ll try better to ignore the critics in my life. As for my self-doubt, it has much basis in the past. My writing wasn’t appreciated and devalued by family members. And although I like my writing, I sometimes rely too heavily on the feedback of others. Something I’m working on still.

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